Wolfwing Encounter Training Lesson
by abstow89
Summary: Here's what you should and should not do if you see Wolfwing.


**Wolfwing Encounter Training Lesson**

An adventurer had traversed into the woods of Darkovia and inadvertently came into contact with the Lord of all Werepyres, Wolfwing. Wolfwing was standing there, full of life and power, all bulky and strong, while the adventurer was a skilled warrior with several highly powered weapons that could take out a whole fleet of werepyres.

"So what's it gonna be adventurer: Join me or fight?" asked Wolfwing.

**Plan A: Fight**

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Just shut up and fight me!"

The two combatants began to duel with each other, fighting fiercely and jumping around like crazy. Suddenly, the adventurer slashed Wolfwing across the chest with the Undead Axe of the Sun.

"HA! Gotcha!" said the adventurer.

"Was that really your attack, or did you throw a gnat at me?" asked Wolfwing.

"Whuh?"

"Oh, that's right, no one told you. My HP's over 66000!"

"WHAT!"

Wolfwing lashed out towards the adventurer, taking away a gigantic fraction of his health.

"OW! Dude that hurt!"

Wolfwing suddenly gained 145 HP and was healed like the adventurer had never been damaged.

"Oh yeah, I get 145 HP every turn too."

"OH MY GOD!!"

Wolfwing lashed his claws at the adventurer again and laughed.

"Son of a dracopyre! This is so unfair! Over half my HP's gone!"

"Someone call my name?" asked E.

"Get outta here Edward! I'm trying to kill your grandfather!"

"Hey! It's 'E' now!"

"Shut up and go slay a vampire!"

"Looks like your time's up adventurer." said Wolfwing.

"NEVER! There's still one more trick up my sleeve! SOLAR INCINERATOR!!"

"You don't wanna do that."

"HA! I just found your weakness!"

"You do NOT want to do that!" growled Wolfwing.

"Too late Werepyre! Say goodbye!"

The adventurer used all his strength to cast the solar incinerator spell, blasting a gigantic ball of flames towards Wolfwing. The second before the flames were about to kill him, Wolfwing turned around and farted violently in the adventurer's direction, ceasing the path of the flames and making the whole area smell horrible. The flames slowly began to fire back into the adventurer's direction, setting him on fire and blasting him in the air.

"AAAAHHH!!!" he screamed.

The adventurer's body continued to soar in the air until gravity took in and plunged him down a cliff. Wolfwing sighed with relief and started wafting away the smell.

"Told you not to do that."

**Plan A: Fail.**

**Plan B: Tickling**

"How's it feel knowing you're about to become my dinner?!" said Wolfwing.

"Whoa, wait, what?! You didn't even ask me if I wanted to become a Werepyre!!"

"I don't care! I'm really hungry tonight and I'm not gonna eat another snayl for dinner!!!"

Wolfwing began to charge at the adventurer when his sword accidentally brushed across his armpits. Wolfwing stopped and began to laugh softly.

"Holy crap, Werepyres are ticklish. Who knew?!"

A light bulb appeared over the adventurer's head, indicating he suddenly got an idea. The adventurer started tickling the snot out of Wolfwing, touching his armpits and making him laugh like crazy.

"HAHAHAHA!! STOP IT--HA HA!! STOP IT!!"

"No, I'm gonna tickle you till your HP goes down!"

Wolfwing's HP began to go down.

"Oh my God, IT'S WORKING!!"

The momentarily sense of power began to stop once Wolfwing started to howl incredibly loud with laughter. Even worse, Wolfwing's bad breath was slowly starting to get to the adventurer.

"PHHEEWW!!! When's the last time you brushed your teeth?!"

Wolfwing abruptly stopped laughing and said, "What?" in a serious tone.

The adventurer quickly began to tickle his feet instead so he could get away from his breath. Wolfwing was laughing even harder than ever, on his back flailing his arms around. But the adventurer's eyes were watering and he kept trying to hold his mouth shut. Wolfwing's stinky feet kept kicking him in the face, and the adventurer started groaning and retching. This time, Wolfwing did manage to notice him.

"What up with you?"

"You're a reeking cesspool! How am I gonna tickle you to death if I gotta smell your rank breath and feet?!"

"WHAT!"

"Oops." said the adventurer meekly.

"Oh, you think I stink huh? You think I stink? You got a problem with stinky werepyres?!"

"No! No--"

"I'll give you something that stinks!!"

Wolfwing jammed the adventurer's head under his right armpit, forcing him to inhale his musky odor.

"How do you think I smell now!!??"

The adventurer was four seconds away from blacking out; the stink was just too much for him to handle. At the very last second, he moved his hand under his other armpit and started tickling that one too. Pretty soon Wolfwing was on the ground laughing hysterically again.

"STOP!! STOP!!!"

"NO! You shoved my face in your armpits!!!"

"SERIOUSLY--HA HA!!! STOP IT!!!"

"NO!"

"STOP--STOP--STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!"

Wolfwing grabbed the adventurer's throat and growled gutturally.

"That's enough." he said gritting his teeth.

Wolfwing opened his mouth wide and devoured the adventurer, burping loudly after swallowing him.

**Plan B: Fail.**

**Plan C: Acceptance.**

"So what's it gonna be adventurer: Join me or fight?" asked Wolfwing.

"Dude screw fighting. I wanna be a Werepyre!"

"Nice. Now hold still…"

"Why?"

Wolfwing bit down hard on the adventurer's chest.

"OW, THAT FREAKIN' HURTS!!!"

The adventurer fell on the ground and started convulsing and shaking like crazy, slowly transforming into a Werepyre.

"Cool! I'm a Werepyre!" said the adventurer.

The adventurer started flapping his wings, looking down at his claws and green shirt.

"Um…what do I do now?"

"Go hunt vampireslayers."

"Okay."

**Later…**

The adventurer landed in front of a vampireslayer.

"RRAAAHH! I'm a Werepyre!!" said the adventurer.

"Oh, snap!!" said the vampireslayer.

The vampireslayer stabbed the adventurer several times and then shot him with his gun.

"Wow that was easy. Hey Edward! I just killed a Werepyre!!"

"MY NAME'S E!!"

**Plan C: Failed**

**Plan D: Retreat.**

The adventurer stared at Wolfwing, noticing the anger in his eyes, the slobber coming out of his mouth, the large pointy fangs, teeth and claws. He dropped his sword and shield and just said, "Done!" and walked away.

"What? I didn't even say anything yet! Where's the fun in that?!?"

**Morale: Should you encounter a wolf-bat creature whose name is Wolfwing, run away. Any other option is fatal.**


End file.
